Own Your Love Story
3 Ways to Take Responsibility for Your Dating Experience and Get Better Results in 2025
Happy New Year, Nashville singles! Every day we are bombarded with reasons to believe that dating sucks, and it does not have to be that way for you this year. Let’s apply noise-canceling ears to the negativity and discuss how to take charge of your dating experience to make this the year where you date better and find a lasting relationship. Dating is as much about mindset as it is about meeting the right person, and when you take responsibility for your approach, you’ll find it easier to connect and get the results you want. Here are three actionable ways to get started:
1. Let Go of Outcome Attachment
Have you ever found yourself reading someone’s dating profile, seeing their pictures, and immediately thinking, “This person is perfect for me! I can see our lives aligning so well…” Maybe you even start imagining your future together. While it’s natural to get excited, this mindset can add a lot of unnecessary pressure to the interaction.
Instead, try approaching each new connection with curiosity and a blank slate. Focus on experiencing the other person as they are rather than through your idealized version. Discover them based on what they show you in real life. When you’re present and open, you’ll have a better chance of forming a genuine friendship that can grow into a relationship. Remember: dating is about discovering, not deciding on day one.
2. Look for Green Flags, Not Just Red Flags
Our past and many external sources create a bias, and while it is useful to be aware of our dealbreakers, we might tend to be overly focused on disqualifying people; we are so busy searching for red flags that we miss the green ones—the qualities that could make someone an incredible partner.
Reassess your “real” dealbreakers and ask yourself if they align with what truly matters in a long-term relationship. Then, challenge yourself to stay open. Give people who aren’t your “usual type” the opportunity to surprise you. Shifting your focus to look for compatibility and shared values, you might discover someone amazing who’d otherwise slip through the cracks.
3. Diversify Your Dating Strategies
If you’re relying on just one way to meet people—like online dating—it’s easy to feel burned out. Swiping can start to feel more like a chore than an adventure. The solution? Mix it up!
Consider working with a matchmaker or dating coach who can offer personalized guidance and introduce you to high-quality matches. Attend singles events, join social groups, or spend time in places where you think your kind of people might be. And don’t forget to set boundaries for your online dating time to keep it from feeling overwhelming.
Dating is about connecting and stepping outside your comfort zone to meet people in new ways.
Reflect and Grow
As you take responsibility for your dating journey, remember to reflect on who you are and the kind of partner you want to attract. Spend time becoming the best version of yourself—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Growth isn’t just attractive to others; it’s the foundation for building a healthy, lasting relationship.
This year, focus on what you can control, approach dating with an open heart and mind, and allow yourself to enjoy the process. You’ve got this, and I’m here to help every step of the way. Let’s make 2025 your year for love!